Tuesday, 20 May 2008

ABC Wednesday - 'R'

ABC Wednesday already? So many words to choose that begin with the letter 'R' - even more difficult than last week's 'Q'!!!
R is for....the ability to form........
Relationships
In spite of my own very jaded, entirely dysfunctional, relationship with my mother, my primary concern with Emily was that she should be able to forge a very strong and healthy set of relationships within our family circle (Which comprises of Lesley's relatives, not mine.) My family life left me with a lot of baggage - very shy, very withdrawn, very difficult to get to know, very scarred by my early relationships - I could have quite easily drifted into a life of solitude had it not been for Lesley. Because of my upbringing I find forming friendships very difficult, relationships even more so.

I never knew my father, he was off the scene soon after we returned from Cyprus when he and mother divorced. I had a close bond with Peter, my mother's second husband, but he soon got sick of mother's ways and eventually he too was off the scene - I stayed in touch for a while but eventually he found himself a new life with children of his own.
Mother alienated herself further from us and married for a third time. After that she became a distant memory for a long time, then she was back after the birth of my daughter, briefly, and now she's gone again.
My strongest relationship from childhood was that with my Nana and Grandad- mother seemed keen for them to look after me (probably because she couldn't be bothered.) - and they took up the gauntlet with gusto. Sadly Grandad died in 1976 - three days before my eleventh birthday (I've still got the card he had already signed) After that Nana put most of her efforts into raising me. I became the son she never had and she was the only constant in my life until her death in 2005. (Well, almost - but that's a different story to be told some other time!)

We wanted Emily's family life to be so very different from my early experiences - and in the main I think we've succeeded - Lesley and Emily are the only people who see the true me and I hope that Emily will feel a thousand times more safe and secure and loved than I ever did as a child. She seems happy enough now - but only time will tell I suppose - but strong relationships can only be built over time, so there's a way to go yet.

26 comments:

ellen b said...

Relationship is so important in our lives. How wonderful that you are nurturing relationship in a positive way and going beyond what you experienced. Great choice for R...

imac said...

Fantastic post on relationships, Great photo too.

Pop and see my R post.

John said...

Wonderful R post and great photo too!

Ida said...

Important focus!!! :)
I can tell that Emily have a good life, from your writing.
I`m trying to do the same for my girls.
They live in their fathers roots. The same place where he grew up.
I love the thougt and the confidence of that.
I`m rootless and will never let my girls feel that way!

My R

Gary said...

So good to be so aware of these things while they are young.
Gary

Judy said...

What a beautiful post on relationships. You have overcome a lot in your life, and you are in a place in life where a lot of people who have experienced what you have can never get to.

david mcmahon said...

Beautifully put ....

nina said...

You have a beautiful daughter.
Share your love with her always.

Nina at Nature Remains

Patty said...

Aww your little girl is so cute.

Picturing of Life said...

great choice for R....never thought about that :D And the children seems fun playing...

Will you visit mine Thanks

me and my camera said...

This is a thought provoking post with a loving focus on the future of a sweet little girl. An interesting read.

AnnetteK said...

Good choiche!!!
And a very good photo!!

mylittlephotonook said...

So pretty little girl! Nice post today.

DeeJay said...

Terrific post and a pair of lovely happy children

Kjerstis Hjørne said...

Lovely Relationships photo!

Gary said...

Gary, thanks for the phrase "stung tongue". I'm going to replace "wasp sting on the tongue" on my ABC Wed.

Daryl said...

Wonderful post .. excellent R

:-Daryl

Petunia said...

Great choice for R and the photo with the girls are so lovely:)
Petunia's ABC

mrsnesbitt said...

Gary, you have no idea that I so very nearly did R for the same subject...but even I couldn't put into words what has happened in the past 24 hours....

Watch this space.
Alan Bennet would have a field day!

RuneE said...

Very personal - but that is how life is!

Christine said...

love the photo! You sound like a great mom!

leslie said...

What a wonderful post today - relationships ARE very important and when we don't have the right kind early in life, it affects everything from then on. It sounds like you haven't given up, though, and are determined to make things good for your wife and daughter. Good for you. It takes a lot of guts to put this out in public and I admire you for doing so. Plus I can relate.

ExpatKat said...

Wonderful choice for R. Thanks for reminding us all of the importance of relationships.

Powell River Books said...

You are so right, strong relationships are built over time. I've been blessed with many good ones. Thanks for visiting my post about rocks. I have rocks collected from all over the US and Canada and love to display them in my home. I love to get rocks for presents from friends. Try giving your wife a pretty one you picked up just for her and see what happens. - Margy

Neva said...

a very nice "R"....

Neva said...

It is amazing what we survive from childhood.....what a thoughtful and personal post....