Sunday, 5 October 2008


My apologies to anyone viewing the last three or four posts, and my thanks for the replies.

Pure self indulgent self pity I'm afraid - but it needed to be said and I feel better for having said it. I countered every one of the 'down' points with a positive one last night and realised just how lucky I am. Now all I have to do is get this positivity across to Lesley - that should be no mean feat!!

I can see now how very easy it would be for me to slip into a state of total despair and depression. Dwelling on the down points of my life for the past few weeks has been very easy. Finding the good took a lot longer - I really had to search hard for them, but they are there and although I have to say the good 'list' is much shorter than the down 'list' it's quality, rather than quantity that counts in these things.

Thanks again for your words of support - they did make me reassess things.


RuneE said...

I seem to have missed a lot by being away for a short holiday. However - I understand very well both what you have written in the comment to me and on your own blog. It is indeed a bridge a to cross. I have done so myself - as you now seem to have done: It is the quality that counts.

Keep it up!!!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

It is good to talk. You can sometimes find solutions without even looking for them. A job would definitely find a new lease of life for Lesley. You sound much more positive today. To write things down like you have done might be helping you to see the good in your lives, and there is plenty of that.

Take care,
CJ xx

Reader Wil said...

You are in for a change!That's good.I know what I am talking about!

Reader Wil said...

"You are in for a change" is meant as "you are ready for a change"( my English is not always correct, sorry). What I meant was that you have mentioned a few solutions and that's often the beginning of a change for the better. Gary, you can delete this comment as soon as you have read it. I have been in a similar situation, so deep down that I wanted to die. Then I got help from somebody, who didn't say anything, but only listened, and that encouraged me enough to find a good solution.

Roger Owen Green said...

It's a blog. your right for self-pity, anger, melancholy is pretty great. that said, I hope the venting helped.

Reluctant Blogger said...

I'm glad you are feeling more positive but you should never apologise for writing exactly how you feel on your blog. That's what it is there for and readers understand because most people have similar moments at some point.

I wonder, with regard to Lesley, if she might be better in the first instance doing some voluntary work. That is really good for social interaction, and people are always so grateful to volunteers (which is great for the ego) and it would break her in more gently. I know it doesn't help financially but it would be a first step to getting a "proper" job.

With regard to the school it is hard to know. But certainly you do not want your daughter to become wary of social interaction. Home education is great - and there are loads of bloggers who do it brilliantly - but it seems to me you are only doing it because you can't face the schools, rather than for positive reasons. But I am sure I could not send my children to a school at which I knew they would not be happy. Difficult.

But it's great you are talking and thinking about all this stuff. It's a massive step to making some sense of it.

mrsnesbitt said...

We all have times of despair Gary but you are articulating your thinking which is a good step foreward!